It started snowing this afternoon, and I didn't even get a little bit excited.
Today, I am shutting the blinds in a pathetic effort to ignore the pity present.
Marking the first time snow and I will be in a fight.
Dear God,
Today I lost my hope. Please remind me that your plans are better than my dreams.
Today I lost hope, and it wasn't the first time in a while, I've been losing hope for a while now. I thought what had happened is something we dreamed of together. All those countless moments where we conversed about my future, and where I would go or who I would be. I truly believe it was a joint effort. I explained what it was I wanted, and I know you heard me. And I heard you. In fact, I heard you multiple times, in multiple places. I heard it in my head, and my heart. I felt it, and accepted it. Even though it wasn't anything I had ever thought would happen in my life, I learned to love the idea. I still catch myself dreaming about it. It was a constant thought, and a happy one at that.
But God, it all feels so faint and wishy washy. I am starting to question it again, and just need that little reminder. Lately I felt a bit of absence. And maybe that is more my fault. I could pray more, and indulge in your word more as well.
So to my Heavenly Father,
All I want for Christmas is...
That happily ever after.
And whatever it may be that I need to have that.
Thats it Santa.
I just want to continue progressing.
And wherever that may be, and with whoever it may be....
May it happen.
Yours truly,
Annalee