brink of emotion.

Today I woke up feeling queasy, insecure, scared, a nervous wreck. I was on the brink of one to many emotions. Today was the day I had to play a special musical number in my ward. So of course I was a little uneasy...I thought back to my many piano competitions, the judges, the pressure...and I didn't feel half as nervous then, that as I did now. Why was everything harder all of the sudden?
Because of my mother. Yes, that talented musician that has always kept me going in my musical studies, was absent. I grew up with the comfort of having her at EVERY recital, competition, special musical numbers, the countless accompaniments. She was there, quietly rooting me on, encouraging me, striving for me to do better.
But she wasn't there today. So the actual thought of getting up there and playing for a bunch of unknown strangers and faces, without my mother, was where all the emotion came in.
Don't get me wrong, I had a great support group happily sitting next to me, comforting me in that oh so uncomfortable moment. I left the bench with words of encouragement from them and as I raced down the stairs to sit back down next to them, they each greeted me with a warm and loving smile. Followed by a sweet compliment. As I sat there and thought about how I missed my old cheer squad, I realized I had the next best one. I couldn't have been more grateful. In the end I found myself grateful, comfortable, smiling...and the best one yet, accomplished. I had played in church. I got it over with. And I recieved a little adventure along the way.