Poison the weeds.

Okay, I said my book was closed towards you. And it is, and not a minute goes by that I don't feel better about that. I know I got the better end of the deal. But tonight, I was just scrolling through facebook and I read this post, and some of it just stuck out to me. I couldn't help but feel something in my gut as I read this. So thanks puckermob.com. You guys have once again nailed it on your posts. 

"[I spent most of our relationship] under the impression I was more to this man. I felt like we were involved in a relationship. Fun, loving and laid back relationship. 

I was wrong. This type of man should have come with a warning label. *Unable to love as I should.* It would have been nice knowing It was a one-sided relationship from the beginning instead of every day being hopeful.

I was never made a priority. I never sought to be his number one, but I only wanted to mean something to him. 

Passion and a connection mean nothing when you leave a person every time feeling dissatisfied and used. 

You feel an emptiness when they are not there but still a hole when you are in their presence. It's a hole in which they cannot fulfill.

It wasn't loving, but it was close. That's tragedy in life. We settle for what we believe is love. I learned you couldn't love me in a way I deserved. It wasn't that I wasn't beautiful, smart, or I wasn't enough for you. You were missing the human experience, the need to love someone. 

He was incapable of loving. The type of love where they need, want and crave your touch. 

The satisfaction of knowing they are yours and only yours. He never felt the need for it. He liked the idea of me, he liked the person I was but never felt the need for me. 

He was missing the one thing we all reach for, once in a lifetime love.

Maybe that's the real tragedy. He'll never be able to love and I will, I'll have someone who will love me forever and he never will. "-- puckermob.com

How does one break free from that? How does one take away the seed that was once planted? {Gardening tips anyone?} I need a certain poison. It's one that I can't find, but I know it's out there somewhere. You're a weed that I let grow in my garden. {Man, I am loving this gardening metaphor....}. But I'll get there. These moments of weakness will fade in their own due time, and soon enough you'll be an after thought, if not a lost thought. 

Yours Truly,

Annalee