So I, over time, have realized a couple things about myself when it comes to dating. Not that I am a different person, just rather.... in certain moments I wish things would play out like that, or I want my s/o to understand this. And I have compiled it into a list now. So for the past, the present and future daters, dating me means...
1. I have total and complete vulnerable moments. I need consistency when it comes to this. You either always fall into my vulnerability, or you stay strong every time. Because I will follow in how you react. I don't want yes then no. Or vice versa. I want consistency that I can expect in these moments. Consistency shows me power, and I'll admit that in vulnerable moments the thing I am searching is who carries the power. And I'd rather you have it.
2. One day I may dress like a total guy. Hair up, sweats on, make up free, with my running shoes. The next I'll be in pearls and a dress. (But probably not pearls, I don't own any...but you get my point). Roll with it, and appreciate it. You can get the best of both worlds. I can be as girly, or as tomboy as needed. But with that... give me a warning--I don't want a 'wore heals to a basketball game' type of situation.
3. I am completely focused on my goals for myself, and am looking for someone who will let me focus on that, and even remind me to stay on task in necessary moments. I tend to let small things distract me from what matters. I need someone who is there reminding me that what is happening doesn't matter cause it doesn't affect my future. Its honestly just a way to snap me out of the slump I may have entered.
4. I am a child. I laugh at the most inappropriate things, and immediately get embarrassed by it. But if you can learn to love that in me, you're golden. Play with me. If you sense I am being silly, be silly with me. And don't worry, cause when needed I can snap back into mature in a heartbeat.
5. I don't need dates upon dates. Not to say that I never want one. To me a date is a special occasion, and should be kept like that. But also, I can classify the most basic thing as a date, and I will love it forever.
6. I can go from being down for the biggest adventure to days on end chillin at home and watching Gilmore Girls endlessly. And I will voice which one I am feeling. So if you ask me what we should do, and I say, I'm good for whatever. It means I could climb a mountain, or sit on a couch.
7. It has always, and forever will be about the time. Quality time together will beat any expensive gift you can give me. Ah heck, while we are at it, love languages.
In order:
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
And that is also how I will show my love, initially. But in due time I will learn and observe your language and adapt accordingly.
8. I am not a PDA person. No no no no. I have always, from the beginning of time, hated PDA. And I have a hard time even telling close friends and family that I am in a relationship. So understand me while I keep our relationship low-key and in the right moment, I will open up. But know, that if I even consider to start opening it, its because you actually mean something to me.
9. You need not question my loyalty, ever.
10. Deep down, I have heard and understood the Leaders of the Church saying there is no such thing as soul-mate. But the little girl in me just would rather believe that there is. And I let the little girl in me win this battle. So if you're in this relationship, and you want it...do everything in your power to convince me that you believe as well.
11. I am completely stubborn. I will have the hardest time letting go after a fight. Yes, I will forgive you, and the fight will completely end, but for some reason I will always make little jokes or comments about it. It doesn't mean that I want to re-hash it, or that I still believe whatever was fought about. The most I want you to do is just laugh, and reassure me that everything is okay.
12. Surprise me, but don't let me know you are. I'll bug you till you tell me if I found out a surprise is in the works. But if you pull off a surprise, I forever will love it and remember.
13. I have a past. Things have happened to me, and I've managed to push it out of my head for so long, that sometimes it hits like bricks. Push to get to know me, but respect me if I say I don't want to talk about it. I will eventually open up with time, and it'll be in the most random moments.
14. Simply put, when I am crying...give me a hug.
15. Last but not least. Know that I will love you. I will really love you. Because like my dreams, I will focus on it if I see importance to it. I will bend over backwards, and go 100% out of my comfort zone to make you happy. I will like what you like if its that important. I will worry like a mother about your health and safety, but I will encourage you like a best friend to do something wild.
I can quite possibly be the best thing that ever happens to you when it comes to love and relationships. (She says so humbly...)
Just take the time and do your research.
Yours truly,
Annalee