I've broken down about 4 times today.
But to say that was the first time this week, would be a lie.
This week was hard.
The hardest I have been through since getting back from Brasil.
Replays just keep passing through my mind like a broken record.
I'm living groundhog day, yet it is a different situation every day.
It is just the same suckiness repeated.
To me, it is pretty incredible what make up, a forced smile can lead people to believe.
I can choose to be anything I want, at any moment in time.
I can fake it to those who know me best.
But I can break down in front of strangers.
I have proved my self on the extremes this week.
I have so many questions, yet when it comes time for me to open my mouth, its as if a kindergarten glued my mouth shut. And someone turned off my fast paced brain, that it won't even work.
I've let others control me for far too long, that now its time to just take some me time.
Stay inside, wallow.
Watch endless re-runs of Joanie Loves Chachi, Gilmore girls.
All while not getting ready.
Mixed with junk food. And yes you guessed it, even more crying.
I can fake it to those who know me best.
But I can break down in front of strangers.
I have proved my self on the extremes this week.
I have so many questions, yet when it comes time for me to open my mouth, its as if a kindergarten glued my mouth shut. And someone turned off my fast paced brain, that it won't even work.
I've let others control me for far too long, that now its time to just take some me time.
Stay inside, wallow.
Watch endless re-runs of Joanie Loves Chachi, Gilmore girls.
All while not getting ready.
Mixed with junk food. And yes you guessed it, even more crying.
