Say Goodnight, Gracie

They always say that you won't regret taking the leap of faith with something that has an unknown outcome. But you know what? I say different. Sure, sometimes that is great. Jump all you want. But I believe there are some moments in life that you shouldn't jump if you don't know what you'll land in. It's the biggest mistake to make. 

I guess I see what they mean. Sure you will regret not taking it because you'll have to live with it on your chest, knowing that you didn't. But sometimes that feels better than jumping into nothing. 

Cause honestly right now, I'm regretting telling you more than getting that off my chest. 

So for now, I'll just put it all in a pile and leave it. 

There is nothing I can do. 

Your words & actions, or lack there of, have given me enough of an answer. 

Now how do I take that answer and best fulfill it without leaving myself to feel empty and alone? 

Seriously, what am I supposed to do?

I would change everything. I would do anything to just go back to the simplicity of our time. When things were fun, and easy. Less involved, not complicated. 

I don't understand how someone can just go from person to person, friendship to friendship. I don't understand how someone can drop their feelings just like that, how they can be dating someone one day and then two days later be going after someone else. I don't understand it. It takes me a very long time to get over someone and fall for another one. It takes me a long time to build a friendship with trust and respect, only to have it derailed so quickly. So, I guess, this is just something I can't understand. How feelings can be so fragile, how commitment can be so meaningless that there's really nothing invested. How, if someone wanted to just pack everything and head off somewhere else, to someone else, they could because everything they "had" was completely meaningless. How am I supposed to believe that that friendship was real?

Theres my pile of unknown. 

And I'm not going to be able to figure this one out. 

So I guess I'll leave it at that.