Finding the words to describe the emotions that have come and gone today is near impossible. I don't even know where to start. But I guess from the beginning would be what makes most sense. As we all know, and if you don't here is your chance to jump aboard, I have decided to serve my Heavenly Father. That alone is a lot of emotion. I am excited, I am scared, Sad to put a pause on my life...but I am eager with faith for great things to come. In order to serve a mission I have to go through a paper process filled with interviews, medical appointments (yuck...) and such. And today marks the day that I officially started the process! I originally was going to wait and start my papers at home, figuring it would just be easier. But I guess I just couldn't wait (among other reasons!). So I woke up today filled with the need to be in a hurry. I just wanted to start my papers. So here was my plan, meet with my bishop and then go to my old ward's sacrament with best friend Katie. So as I was getting ready for my sunday, dressing my best, everything washed...I got a text message from a friend saying I would want to be coming to his ward (my old ward) today. I thought, great I am already going.... so yeah I'll come. But then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
{{Bishop Fugleberg was going to be released today.}}
It was like this huge gut in my stomach instantly. All of a sudden I didn't want to face the day. But still eager to start some papers, and eager to spend time with old friends...I went.
It was an amazing meeting. This bishopric had such an amazing impact on me in my life. For the first 2 years of my "adult" life, away from Daddy, I had these wonderful priesthood leaders guiding me. Every sunday I got to spend it with them, learning of their life, learning the gospel with them. I'll say it, I am a complete daddy's girl. I love my daddy, and honestly, my mommy too. I am close knit with my parents. Which is why I was so worried to move away from home. Secretly and deep down, I knew that coming to BYU-Idaho would be a blessing. But the transition of it didn't seem like it was going to be all that easy. These 3 leaders were seriously there for me from day one. (Literally they were there the day I arrived in Idaho awaiting to meet me and my 1st semester roommates! Haha). And since meeting them, getting to know them, visiting them every couple weeks for Family Night...I have really grown to love these examples. They did such a wonderful job of helping me feel more at home. If I were to have anyone temporarily replace my parents, I am definitely glad it was them. I was in this ward for 2 years, and moving out of it this summer was one of the hardest things. Probably the only drawback to moving out of Autumn Winds. The way these priesthood leaders encircled me with their love, their fun, their spunk and their help was honestly comforting. They sacrificed so much for this ward. They considered us as children, and made us feel like it as well. Seeing these wonderful people be released from their callings, was sad yes. But it helped me come across something that I needed to realize. The importance of the priesthood. I may not have always used it to my full advantage, but just having it as an option is such a beautiful comfort. It made me realize that while all this time its been a standard of mine for my family in future times, yes, I did it just because that I was always taught that. I mean I always understood the importance, but today was a testimony builder for me. I have always been so lucky to be surrounded by people who carry that blessing. Yet I have seen people who don't have that option in life and it is such a huge difference!
So naturally, after listening to all of them say their last goodbyes and giving my last hugs you could bet your bottom dollar that I was just bawling. Add that emotion to the list...but lets keep going through my day.
I then continued to go home for a quick break, only to turn around and go to 3 more hours of church. Yes, little miss "I don't enjoy being in a dress for more than 3 hours", was in a dress for a long time. {I guess I should start preparing to do that every day.} Lets be honest, by minute 1 of first hour, I was begging for a distraction. It never occurred to me that I should've eaten. Exhaustion also hit... waking up early is really hard. I hate mornings. {Another thing to get over}. Eventually all the craze in my head, and the ADD, subsided and I just zoned out. I can remember the lesson topics... I can remember a few comments made...but that was about it.
Immediately after church we went to listen to some General Authorities talk to the church. Thats right, all that hype about big changes, rumors...they were all stirring in every members mind. It was another 2 hours listening of missionary work. And it was fantastic, because even though I haven't received my call yet, or even come close to finishing my papers, I felt like I was being talked too. It was an honest confirmation that my most recent life changing decision, was the right decision to make for me. Yes, before it started I was back to wanting to cry. Having some unhappy things confirmed in life isn't ever going to be easy for me. I will never take bad news, well. But really, who will? Coming to grips, with people that I would rather not come to grips with, isn't going to be an easy task. But friendship is all about making sacrifices, sometimes. I need to decipher what is going to be worth it, and what will seem like a joke in years to come. Which means I need to learn how to pick my battles.
Tired.
Hungry.
Anxious.
Sad.
Nostalgic.
Hurt.
Happy.
Those are some of the emotions I felt today. Life is funny sometimes. The way it works, the way things happen will constantly keep me on my toes. I know that is for sure.
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