Insanity.

I miss the feelings of calm.Lately it is so hustle and bustle, so quick, fast paced. It's non stop. It's ongoing. And while I like it...I hate  it when the time is consumed of things I do not enjoy.

Homework.

Tests.

Business meetings.

I don't enjoy the insanity that has hit Rexburg. I don't enjoy the unsettling feelings I am constantly receiving. Or the mixed signals of what I am supposed to do. I am losing touch on all reality, on what I want. It's all crap.

So here is a personal goal--

Re-establish what it is I want in life. Don't let others influence the decision. This world is big and has the room for my big dreams. So I'm going to make it the biggest dream. Put everything I have into it. Most importantly I will not look back. Those who know me, will support me and stay by my side. It is that time in life where I need to know where I am going and put everything I have into it. That is the key to success. That is the key to no regrets....cause I'm giving it all I have.  I'm so ready to start this. I'm so ready to focus. I'm so ready to remember why certain aspects of my life were important to me. I need this. I need to go accomplish something on my own. It's time to restart, regain trust in myself.

As this post trails out of my mind...I've come to believe that I'm actually kind of grateful for this insanity. I am kind of grateful that it has made me stop for two seconds and realize how off track I have become. I used to set my mind to something and never lose sight. I used to believe in myself and believe that I had all the power. But this insanity, has led to me forget those. I have been more then distracted here at school. I haven't put my all in to anything, and for the things that I have...it's been a slap to the face lately. 

So here is to me. I'll get where I am going, because of me. And no one else.